My Immortal
by Midnight-Solace
Summary: Christina reflects on her memories of Will.


**I do not own Divergent, This is my story on Christina's depression on Will's death.**

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Christina was so tired of being back in Dauntless, the war was now over and everyone decided to pick up the remains of their factions and rebuild, no one would be venturing outside of the fence and all talk on that matter was closed only to be discussed among leaders such as Tori, Harrison, Tobias/Four and Tris. Ah yes, Four and Tris, who would have thought that pair possible though for all the interactions Christina had witnessed between them during initiation it didn't seem too far-fetched.

Honestly Christina was happy for her friend's relationship but it made her a bit jealous and the thought of being jealous made her sick. Tris' life was far from perfect during the war the girl had lost her entire blood-related family, not to mention all the other hardships she'd had to endure. So she really shouldn't be jealous but at least Tris still had a special someone in her life and he wasn't buried six-feet below the earth.

Christina wandered around dauntless with a sad haze to her dark brown eyes. She didn't want to go where her feet were taking her, however her feet and heart had set a course and where leading her to it. As she walked past certain places she couldn't help but remember him.

His celery green eyes, sparkling bright, His soft blonde hair, his perfect smile always a bit wider when he set it on her.

She just couldn't get him out of her mind she wished all of her memories would just leave her alone; she wished she couldn't still see his presence in every place she passed.

'_You're Beautiful_.' was what he'd whispered to her after their sloppy kiss when the final rankings had gone up.

She sped up her walking, as she felt her eyes tearing up again. Soon she came to her destination the initiates' dormitory. She was thrown back suddenly into a time a time when he was alive and well, all the time they spent just laughing and joking in this room. The happy picture in her mind then faded to reveal a dark and slightly dusty room, makes sense as they hadn't really gotten around to cleaning out the dormitories after the war. There were much other more important things to tend to. Not that Chrisitna minded.

She slowly walked through the eerily quiet room, stopping at his bunk. After running her hand slowly across the Mattress' surface, the dark skinned girl laid her body unto to the bed. She could still smell his warm scent of peppermint. The clean smell was soon mixed with the saltiness of her tears as every memory of him hit her hard.

The first time they had interacted when he had asked to sit at the table she and Tris shared.

The time he and her had helped Tris dispose of the newspapers the Erudites had published.

All of their shared glances and touches.

Their first kiss by the train tracks.

Soon the pillow she rested upon was complete soaked and her sobs consumed the silence of the room.

Everyone in Dauntless could witness her sanity slippage; she now screamed out loud at night due to nightmares and cried more frequently, she sometimes imaged Will and could hear his voice sometimes she couldn't tell her real memories from her fantasies, she could still feel his presence though these were all dreams. His face haunted her nightmares every night.

He used to enrapture her with his light in life, and now even in his death she still tried to cling to that light, forever was she bound by the life he left behind and every memory she had of him.

Her fears now all seemed so silly and childish, compared to the true tragedy and fear that had gripped her life.

She wished he was here to wipe away all of her tears and give her that perfect smile.

She wanted for to silence all of her screams with loving words and kisses.

She wished that they could hold hands again.

The wounds she had acquired on her heart just wouldn't heal. Her heart was completely shattered.

The first cut she had heard was always the deepest; she had never believed it until now. But this pain was just too much and so real.

She wished she could go back and change it all. Alter the course of time so that this wouldn't happen. However Time could not be turned back nor could it be erased, and time might heal these scars on her heart but Christina was not sure she could wait on time.

She tried to be strong, she tried to go on and she tried to be Dauntless,

However it was just hard.

Christina curled up in a ball on the bed; her tear had not once stopped.

She wasn't alone; she wasn't the only one who had endured pain in this war. She had Tris, Uriah and as much as he scared her Tobias and a few others.

She'd tried so hard to tell herself that even though Will was gone he'd always be a part of her.

Still she felt …

So alone.

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**Finito. This was the long overdue reuest of IHeartUCato, (Sorry it took so long). Lemme know how it was guys.**


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